There are going to be a lot of tears this year

There are going to be a lot of tears this year. Perhaps for years to come. Stand away. These drops are not for comfort or sympathy. I am not in distress. I do not ail.

Just nod, for you have been here.

  • Insecure, timid, angry at your weaknesses
  • Already tired, when the road -difficult and long- is just beginning
  • You have tasted relief and had it taken away
  • You have fooled yourself for far too long, and yelped and wept when the scales fell from your eyes and dropped heavily on your foot
  • You have hidden and no one has found you; and you have ached and shivered understanding that you were not missed
  • Your stoically practiced belief in your beauty has turned out to be a paper boat in a hurricane
  • You have known all your life that most things just don’t turn out the way you want them to
  • Ever practical, you have measured: disappointment hurts more than never hoping

Until it doesn’t

And then you must walk the thorny road of wishing -which to you feels like begging- which smacks (a cracking blow) of your hardest times, still not quite shaken off.

But you must learn to wish, and against all instincts believe.

No Jiminy Cricket Fairy Godmother Bippity Boppity Boo. This house must be gutted, total reno, walls broken through. A frightened aloof architecture must be pulverized and evacuated.

There are going to be a lot of tears this year. Perhaps for years to come. Stand away. These drops are not for comfort or sympathy. I am not in distress. I do not ail.

I am under construction.

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