I could blog in the mornings (I would probably make more sense). But I usually wait until the end of the day to see what I was thinking about. I went to sleep last night thinking about multiple happinesses and the idea has recurred to me throughout today as I toured many zones of emotion.
The sky is light enough to wake me without my alarm clock at 6 AM now. This is my favorite part of having turned the corner from the solstice, when my morning routine is no longer in complete darkness.
I fell into the sheltering hum of domesticity this morning and didn’t want to leave. I made a nice mental nest of surveying the fridge and freezer contents for ingredients, menu planning, shopping list drafting etc. and would have been happy to cook, read and sit in int the sunny windows all day.
But, I had rehearsal. Aye there’s the rub. Theatre is my favorite sin. I would sacrifice 4 sunny hours for few other things. And yet in my current theatrical situation there are hefty social discomforts, so I always show up wondering what happinesses will be there. The reward today was my cast hitting all the right notes on my piece. We could take it onstage today and I would be happy with what it is. That felt tremendously successful.
Then there was laughing with green-eyes in my car. I thought that would have been the pinnacle. But it was the old friends; the annual dance; the familiar ritual which made me feel glad I hadn’t chucked it all in for the book.
Each one of these bright spots had its own contentment, its own refraction of a bright whopping joy. You leap in the moment; take in the sweet. But there is another layer to each happiness: how the knees feel later, if that tasty moment actually ruined your digestion.
I am lucky to find most days that several delightful things have happened to me. And as I run my hand over them in memory I find they emit different kinds of heat, color, aura. I spend my days navigating toward the longest resonating, most comforting, refilling happinesses. But I wouldn’t know those if it weren’t for the others.