Shout out to the six people who will –from the heart– immediately pick up the phone when they read this title. Similar props to everyone who understands the fact that I won’t answer; and to the friend who will start our next conversation with, “I know you said you didn’t want to talk about it, but about your last blog post…” Thank you. I love you for all that you are. But nothing serious here people. I mean it, nothing deep. Just a Tuesday night talking to myself so I don’t go to sleep with today’s baggage dancing like sugar plums in my head.
Does anybody else ever feel that need? A desire for anonymous babbling? It’s probably my favorite thing about the internet. Don’t get me wrong, Followers, truly I do love thee. The only thing more satisfying than yammering on without consequence is the thrill of some days’-later acknowledgement: Thumbs up! Some ‘bot in Outer Scamminya followed me! Thumbs down! Some ALL CAPS GUY with a dirty handle thought this was his ex-girlfriend’s blog, or is disappointed it isn’t a porn site. There’s no such thing as bad publicity, right?
So, what’s up Tuesday? Well, I made a mistake at work. I made the mistake last week but it didn’t come to bear until today. I’m big into the self-flagellation, mea culpa, walk in chains and carry stones kind of guilt. But my co-worker really nipped that in the bud for me, with an encouraging and optimistic, “Well, fix it!” We chatted briefly about the best strategy. I executed. Again. And I’m feeling confident that the situation is improved and rectified.
Then later I had to get mansplained about something that was old news, but was new news to the guy who mansplained me. And also wasn’t my fault. Is there any party worse to be late to than the Windbagging About What Was Supposed To Happen party? Be the person who gets the joke three days late. Don’t be the person trying to dole out blame three days late. #SisterCan’tCatchABreak #ManagerProblems. And, yes, I just hashtagged in a blog post. Ewwwwww.
Then later I got caught in the crossfire, and truly realized that I have too many distinct job duties, so I have to, like, advocate for myself and fix that shit, yo!
I genuinely enjoy all the pieces of my life. There is a bit of an elephant on crutches feel to it right now: heavy-footed and uneven. I want all the parts to come into balance, and I want to know there’s room for the creative parts to grow. So, faith. And one day at a time.