Good morning. I’m sorry. Where have I been? In. A quiet place. It’s divine. There is no screaming, no yelling, nor even the persistent hypersonic hum of electronic devices. It starts, if I’m lucky, on Friday nights and I am ripped cruelly out of it first period Monday. It makes me sad all day, being torn away from a place where I all I have to be is aware of living.
But that’s why you haven’t seen me. I have barely been going out. I have been liking it that way, though the internal hourglasses on contacts with some friends have are long drained and the empty bulb is a cold, glaring, guilt-inducing eye. I’m sorry. I needed to put me before everything for a while. I haven’t entirely shaken that off, but I need to put family before everything for a spell, and then hungrily, I suspect I will return to me for a while.
You. Are splendid. I am lucky to have you. You are a treat. You are a wonder. You are a piece of me and when I neglect you or lose you I feel it. Even so. There are times when you are no comfort at all. When your presence is a pressure rather than a relief. And, you’ll forgive me? Rather than tell you that one time out of a million that you are not what I need, I just hush. Retreat. Go on a quest for my peace and when I return to you I am better. I can love you more. I know you want to help. It is simple. Love me silently.